1. My Hollywood Startlet Discord

   January 24, 2012 by Marissa

   I make no apolo­gies for my opin­ions and how cer­tain peo­ple grate on my nerves. I’m sure the feel­ing would be mutual given the oppor­tu­nity. And that makes me happy.

   Category All about me, asshattery, bawdy little monkey, I'm so mean, random blathering, video blogging | Tags: | 2 Comments

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2. The morning after

   December 26, 2011 by Marissa

   It is Decem­ber 26. For most of you, you’re prob­a­bly lament­ing it being the end of your four day week­end. After all, the day after Christ­mas is an unof­fi­cial hol­i­day that many employ­ers rec­og­nize. Lucky you if you’re one of those asso­ciates who gets to hang at home with the load of gifts you received on Christ­mas. As for me, I’m headed back to work as if a hol­i­day hadn’t even occurred. One day off and back at it! How­ever, I do have friends who didn’t even have Christ­mas day off. For some it hap­pens because of their career of choice, or for oth­ers they took what­ever job could get the bills paid and it just so hap­pens that work­place never closes.

   Ahh­hhh what the hell is the point of this blog post? I have no freakin’ idea. It seemed nec­es­sary for words to occupy the web page. GoDaddy keeps send­ing noti­fi­ca­tions that I need to pay up to keep my domain and web host­ing. Seri­ously, do I care any­more? I mean, when I wasn’t pay­ing jack sh*t on Blog­ger this blog saw a lot more action. Since I’m not mak­ing a dime off my blath­er­ing, isn’t it a waste of my hard earned cash to keep it up? Yeah, I think so. With the econ­omy beat­ing me up a lit­tle more each day, it has been nec­es­sary to eval­u­ate smart expen­di­tures over fool­ish ones. When $14.95 can be bet­ter spent on say, putting a cou­ple of gal­lons in the car to trans­port me to work or buy 3.5 gal­lons of milk for my teen age son, it would be wise not to spend it on a mem­ber­ship for some­thing that serves no pur­pose to my life.

   I need to vent, obvi­ously. There it is. The purpose

   .

   2011 wasn’t what I had hyped it up to be in my mind. Sure, it’s my own men­tal­ity that made it what it was, for sure. A lot of us are in the same boat. It’s been 365 days of ebbs and flows. Oh, wait. That’s just how life is? You mean I can’t always be some cheer­leader ‘my life is bet­ter than your life and your life can be like my life if you just sip on this Kool-aid?’ Sure, if that’s your bag, feel free to carry it. I, on the other hand, have to sip on my own cup of brew and be who I is! Again, some rev­e­la­tion that should’ve always been my phi­los­o­phy. Hey, I’m a late bloomer haha. In hind­sight, which is always 20/20, it has dawned on me that I did too much lis­ten­ing to oth­ers and not enough hear­ing my own voice. Tons of do this not that from well inten­tioned people.

   2012 is already set to start out with me suck­ing it up and mov­ing for­ward. Oh! Yet another bril­liant epiphany. With all the self-help ‘be a bet­ter you’ advice books out there, I think one of the things peo­ple for­get (me any­way) is to thine own self be true.

   What can you expect from me in the com­ing weeks? Well, I’ll let you know when it happens.

   Category deep thoughts with Miss Riss, For The Greater Good, Insane in the membrane, Never surrender, random blathering, Rissues, That's Life, What's Inside Marissa's Head | Tags: | No Comments

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3. Borked

   November 19, 2011 by Marissa

   Borked
   

   Per the online Urban Dic­tio­nary BORKED has sev­en­teen def­i­n­i­tions that range from down­right vul­gar (no sur­prise! This is the Urban Dic­tio­nary we’re talk­ing about) to what appears actual def­i­n­i­tion. I’m tak­ing num­ber two to best explain how things have been for me lately:

   Some­thing is “borked” when it doesn’t work cor­rectly or mis­be­haves, gen­er­ally due to neg­li­gence by the person(s) that are respon­si­ble for it. Ety­mol­ogy: Com­bine one part “bro­ken” and one part Swedish Chef and you get “borked.”   This web­site is borked. That mechanic borked your car.

   Dili­gence does not describe me as of late. Well, unless you con­sid­er­ing get­ting up and going to work being dili­gent. Since I get paid to be there, I don’t let my respon­si­bil­i­ties slide.

   Take this blog, for instance. No new posts for a week. Nary a photo or blurb. What gives, eh? I’ve felt for awhile that I’d lost my muse. Every writer (seri­ous or not) needs a muse. Some­times it is a per­son or per­sonal mantra … a state of mind. The lack of gen­uine idea for blog entries is reflec­tive of my lack of deter­mi­na­tion on my weight loss goal. That drive has dwin­dled down to thoughts of con­sid­er­ing my cur­rent weight being com­fort­able. Although, I am not ‘com­fort­able’ at my cur­rent girthiness.

   So, what the heck gives?

   Where, oh where, has my deter­mi­na­tion gone? Where, oh where, can it be?

    

   

   Category All about me, deep thoughts with Miss Riss, I'm lazy, Never surrender, random blathering, Rissues | Tags: | No Comments

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4. Riss and Tell

   August 18, 2011 by Marissa

   Get­ting to know me:  25 ques­tions!

   1. Where were you 3 hours ago? Home bask­ing in the glory that is my dwelling
   
   2. Who are you in love with? Can I be in love with myself? I am feel­ing a bit nar­cis­sis­tic today.

   3. Have you ever eaten a crayon? Neg­a­tivo. It\‘s tough on an old girl\‘s diges­tive tract.

   4. Is there any­thing pink within 10 feet of you? Heh. I\‘m a chick. You do the math

   5. When is the last time you went to the mall? I work in the eff­ing mall, thank you very much. And since you asked, might I sug­gest you never wear paja­mas in pub­lic? Hey saggy Aggie, how about a frig­gin\’ bra under that wife beater tshirt?

   6. Are you wear­ing socks right now? It\‘s sum­mer. Hell no.

   7. Do you have a car worth over $2,000? Worth? No. Owe? Yes.

   8. When was the last time you drove out of town? Yes­ter­day. Thank you to my Android Nav­i­ga­tion I drove through the ghetto of Joliet. Woo! Fun.

   9. Have you been to the movies in the last 5 days? Not to the theater.

   10. Are you hot? This lap­top kind of over­heats me from time to time. And hel­loooo o mid­dle 40 female. Duh.

   11. What was the last thing you had to drink? Water

   12. What are you wear­ing right now? You tell me what you\‘re wear­ing first.

   13. Do you wash your car or let the car wash do it? I let the Mother Nature do it.

   14. Last food that you ate? Chicken, brown rice and Brussel\‘s sprouts. If you saw what I ate for lunch you wouldn\‘t be in awe over my clean eating.

   15. Where were you last week at this time? It was my 46th birth­day. So, that means I was doing the same thing I\‘m doing now minus the survey.

   16. Have you bought any cloth­ing items in the last week? No. How­ever, I was tempted to buy a pair of socks. But it is sum­mer. No need.

   17. When is the last time you ran? Inten­tion­ally? Have you seen my boobs? That ain\‘t gonna happen.

   18. What’s the last sport­ing event you watched? Sport­ing event. Sports. Balls are some­times involved? Teams com­pete and peo­ple cheer and jeer?

   19. What is your favorite ani­mal? Liger

   20. Your dream vaca­tion? Recall­ing dreams is not my forte\’. I\‘ll let you know if I ever remem­ber when I dream of a vacation

   21. Last person’s house you were in? Other than my own? I think peo­ple sus­pect me of being a vam­pire and don\‘t invite me in for fear I may bite them or wel­come myself any time I choose.

   22. Worst injury you’ve ever had? ::sob:: Bro­ken heart :: sob::

   23. Have you been in love? Oh, sure.

   24. Do you miss any­one right now? Yes. Indeed, I do!

   25. What is your secret weapon to lure in the oppo­site sex? haha­ha­ha­ha­ha­ha­ha­ha­ha­ha­ha­ha­ha­ha­han­odateinthree­year­sha­ha­ha­ha­ha­ha­ha­ha­ha­ha­ha­haha

   OK, Do what you want with this sur­vey.
   It’s a quirky ques­tion­naire. At least I didn’t email it to you and insist your hair would all fall out and every dead gold­fish you ever flushed would haunt you if you didn’t com­plete it and return it to me within 24 hours

   Category All about me, I'm lazy, Insane in the membrane, meme, my mind is a scary place, random blathering, Rissues, Uncategorized | Tags: | No Comments

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5. Warm Weather Welcome

   May 13, 2011 by Marissa

   Hello, warm weather. We’ve missed you tremendously!

   OY! And did it come on with a POW!!

   The temps went from down­right chilly requir­ing a jacket to swel­ter­ing heat neces­si­tat­ing turn­ing the heat off and switch­ing over to the air con­di­tion­ing. One extreme to another!

   But I’m not com­plain­ing. When you’re me, and you’re not, win­ter cre­ates numer­ous chal­lenges of keep­ing my fin­gers from turn­ing ghastly white and numb. Raynaud’s Phe­nom­enon affects about 5% of the pop­u­la­tion and it more preva­lent in females. Imag­ine walk­ing through the freezer or meat depart­ment at the gro­cer and with­out warn­ing your fin­ger­tips start turn­ing white. EWWW! It’s dread­ful, but if I catch it quick enough I can dash to the bath­room to run warm water over the affected pha­langes or shake ‘em to get the blood flow­ing again. Jump­ing jacks are effec­tive but not well received by the shop­pers look­ing for pork loin. While dri­ving I keep one hand on the vent as it blows the hottest air my car is pos­si­ble of pro­duc­ing. Then, I switch as the other hand begins to suf­fer. Before you sug­gest those dis­pos­able heat pack­ets hunters use I will say that I have tried them. Dri­ving with them stuffed to the end of mit­tens is rather dif­fi­cult. Believe it or not, stick­ing my fin­gers in the air vents is simpler.

    

   

    

   This afflic­tion has fol­lowed me since my late teens. Ini­tially it only affected my right mid­dle fin­ger. Charm­ing. Now all the hand appendages fol­low suit but to dif­fer­ent degrees. My toes aren’t often included but from time to time it occurs.

   If you’re like me and suf­fer from this — win­ter isn’t always to blame but obvi­ously gives cause for greater con­cern — what do you do to com­bat it? Know any­one who suf­fers from Raynaud’s Phenomenon/Disease/Syndrome? When I was search­ing for links there was an adver­tise­ment from Google to the right. It is for infrared gloves run­ning from $29.00 to $39.00 per pair. FIR — Far Infrared. Hmmm This might have to be looked into fur­ther. Last win­ter was long and ridicu­lously cold.

   Guess what? I had no inten­tions of writ­ing about my creepy, death hands. Funny where my brain will lead my fin­gers when writing.

   Category random blathering, Rissues, That's Scary, Uncategorized, what bunk | Tags: | No Comments

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6. “I want to be alone…”

   May 1, 2011 by Marissa

   In her husky accent Greta Garbo declared, “I want to be alone.” After exten­sive (Wikipedia) research because I had always heard she was mis­quoted, I found this quote which best sums up how I feel when it comes to my time away from work.

   “I never said, ‘I want to be alone.’ I only said, ‘I want to be let alone.’ There is all the dif­fer­ence.
   

   “You can­not have a vaca­tion with­out peace and you can­not have peace unless left alone.“
   

   I put in my time 100% at ye olde grind. My pay comes hourly and not salary. Even if I was paid salary that doesn’t take away from the fact that time at home with my son or whomever else I choose to dally is my own. It’s not as if my role is so vital that my deci­sions will make or break a multi-billion dol­lar deal. I don’t need to be needed 24/7 to be assured that I’m appre­ci­ated in the work place. I trust that those who are on the clock will make deci­sions in the moment to get through the day. In the moment choices have to be made whether or not they are what I would have done in the same cir­cum­stance. Hun­dreds of skilled peo­ple are just a phone call away.  Peo­ple who are, at that point in time, being paid for their consult.

   I’m vent­ing. Yes, that is what it is and now I can move on with my day off. What peo­ple don’t under­stand about me is that it takes tremen­dous effort for me to relax. Emp­ty­ing my mind requires just as much effort men­tally as rock climb­ing requires physically.

   When I awaken in the mid­dle of the night because I had 24 ounces of water forty five min­utes before bed­time, going back to sleep is ardu­ous. My mind clicks on to what I need to accom­plish in the day; what con­ver­sa­tions need to be had.

   It is irri­tat­ing to an infi­nite degree.

   With that in mind, yesterday’s glo­ri­ous sun­shine and silly girl lit­er­a­ture helped take me away like the Cal­gon bath of the ‘70s.

   After a spell out­doors, I came back in to get my ear buds so I could fur­ther tune out the world. My son, who appar­ently knows me and my sit­u­a­tion very well, asked, “are you able to relax? Is work leav­ing you alone now?” He’d heard me on the phone ear­lier. He knew by my expres­sion that I had not escaped duty. It wasn’t any­thing imper­a­tive. Surely with a lit­tle patience the ques­tion would have answered itself.

   

   I enjoy com­pany. On my terms. Do I want to be alone?

   No, just leave me alone … unless you’re bring­ing a cheeky movie and margaritas.

   Category All about me, coworkers, For The Greater Good, I'm so mean, Insane in the membrane, phone calls, random blathering, silence is golden, take a look at me now, That's Life, what bunk, What's Inside Marissa's Head, work | Tags: | No Comments

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7. Boobs, tatas, funbags ~ Thelma and Louise

   April 14, 2011 by Marissa

   

   Some things I know to be true. This is one of them: Women check out other women. In this photo, I believe Sophia Loren is check­ing out the bedan­gling breas­t­i­cles of Jane Mans­field or some other heart break of a story plat­inum blonde from Hol­ly­wood gone by.

   We can’t help it. I have a heapin’ help­ing of the mamms and I still look at the pro­tu­ber­ances on other women. I don’t envy their size. How­ever, I might give a dis­creet eye roll to those I can detect are enhanced. Or, I might wearily wish my girls could remain ‘way up firm and high.’ Ten months of breast feed­ing Man-cub took a toll on Thelma and Louise.

   Because I don’t have glo­ri­ous gams I tend to gaze upon women who do have legs worth cel­e­brat­ing. My legs are long. To quote Steve Urkel, “she has legs that go all­lll the way to the floor.” Seri­ously, I do have long legs. Sadly, genet­ics cursed me with hefty thighs, knobby, fat knees and calves that would bet­ter suit a ham hock. Shorts are demonic fash­ions. Thank the gods of mer­can­tile for capris or I’d be at a loss. Sadly, this sit­u­a­tion leaves me at a loss when it comes time for going for a dip. I can only hope that those accom­pa­ny­ing me look worse than I do in swimwear (or drunk enough not to care). I’d sooner go for a skinny dip in the dark than wear a swim­suit in broad day­light. My buoys would deter any­one from look­ing at the atroc­ity that is my legs.

   When sum­mer­time approaches I long for the days of old. Take the swimwear styles of vin­tage era and com­bine it with the high tech, super fab­rics of today. I’d be a bathing beauty if that were the case. With my weight loss endeavor I am hop­ing I can find a bathing suit top that will give the boobalas ample cov­er­age and sup­port while I don the surf shorts I’ve seen hip girls wear­ing on the beach and at the water parks. I don’t pro­claim to be hip, but I do declare that I’m not a granny panty wear­ing old broad will­ing to sit in the shade.

   Category blogging, random blathering, weight loss | Tags: | 3 Comments

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8. The Endless 10 Second Interview

   February 27, 2011 by Marissa

   Face­book is a time suck There! I said it! I admit it. But it keeps me off the strip­per pole.

   About 8 months ago some­one sent me an invite to do a 10 sec­ond inter­view. I fig­ured I had that much time to spare, right? How many ques­tions could there be? Hun­dreds! Unless you’re John Mos­chitta, it’s unlikely you can answer numer­ous ques­tions in under 10 sec­onds … with excep­tion to that rapid fire ques­tion­ing in Uncle Buck.

   Wait … that clip is 25 sec­onds long, but isn’t it precious?

   So, for my own amuse­ment (and maybe your’s) I have extracted 20 gems from Q & A with Miss Riss –

   1. What’s the sex­i­est thing the oppo­site sex can wear? Me
   2. Noth­ing beats … ? A new pair of under­pants
   3. In 20 years I will be ...? Still answer­ing these stu­pid assed ques­tions
   4. I don’t get mad, I get ...? Psy­cho
   5. When they write my obit­u­ary, I hope they men­tion … ? I don’t care. I’ll be dead
   6. What fla­vor are you glad they didn’t include in Bertie Botts Every Fla­vor Beans? ASS
   7. What kind of pet would you like to have? A kinkaju
   8. When you get stressed what are you likely to toss out the win­dow? The per­son who made me stressed
   9. If you were preg­nant you’d most likely crave …? Not being preg­nant
   10. Par­don my … ? Tig ol’bitties
   11. Blonde, brunette or red head?? Yes, I’ve been all three. Ask me about the car­pet and I’ll beat you with your own fist.
   12. What would be your theme song? I’ll find the app quiz for it and get back to you
   13. One in the hand is worth …? Two in the cash reg­is­ter
   14. The O.C. or Dawson’s Creek? Eww how dare you sully my head with such garbage
   15. Please tell my but­ler that for break­fast I shall require …? him to be hot, hand­some, tall and ready.
   16. If you owned a restau­rant what would you call it? Slurp­ing Tatas
   17. What will JT bring back now that sexy is back? Para­chute pants
   18. I’ll wait until nobody is look­ing then I’ll … ? finally pick the under­wear out of my crack
   19. Do you play any instru­ments? I don’t sup­pose the skin flute counts, eh?
   20. Quick! Write the last sen­tence of your auto­bi­og­ra­phy: “And she and Thelma and Louise lived hap­pily ever after in com­fort … at last.”

   This was writ­ten before many changes were made to Facebook.The 10 Sec­ond quiz was once posted on my wall side­bar. Now? I have no idea where it resides. Aren’t you glad I pre­served some of these gems?

   Category 99 names for boobs, deep thoughts with Miss Riss, getting better all the time, guilty pleasure, meme, random blathering | Tags: | 5 Comments

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9. Meme Monday

   January 17, 2011 by Marissa

   

    

   Nor­mally, I don’t like to do this sort of thing in lieu of giv­ing real con­tent, or at the very least, shar­ing some­thing per­sonal. The fol­low­ing is per­sonal, but not exactly cre­atively stated.

    

   Direc­tions: Cre­ate a new blog post. Write an intro­duc­tion. Copy and paste the meme below into your blog, chang­ing the com­ments to your own. Use the title of this meme in your sub­ject line or cre­ate your own. Feel free to tag your friends or not. A link back to this lens would be appreciated.

   Were you born early, late or right on time?  If mem­ory serves me right, I was a lit­tle delayed in mak­ing my debut. I’d decided that not enough excite­ment was built up over my birth as I was the eighth child born into our fam­ily.  I over­shot being born on my sister’s birth­day and came a cou­ple hours later.  Totally ruined her 10th birth­day though since Mom went into labor.  Sorry about that, sis. No one ever said I wasn’t an atten­tion seeker.

   Chicken pox? Yes, but I don’t remem­ber hav­ing them. Hav­ing the mumps made an impact. Swollen glands made it impos­si­ble to turn my head. In our house we never had basic first aid items like Band-aids, ice packs etc… so, old bread bags filled with ice took res­i­dence on either side of my neck to aid in reduc­ing swelling. Weird what I remember.

   Aller­gic to bees? .Nope, but that doesn’t mean I’d wel­come being stung.

   How about straw­ber­ries?  Nope. I love them, but It’s hard to find a really great straw­berry. It seems to me that most are beau­ti­ful on the out­side and taste­less inside.

   Hered­i­tary ill­ness?  Can­cer. Just toss a dart on a chart of the type and it’s likely some­one has had it in our family

   Have you ever been in a car acci­dent?  Yes.  A cou­ple minor fender ben­ders.  Another landed us in a ditch. My idiot ex was dri­ving and swerved to miss what he swears was a big dog or a deer stand­ing in the road.  The sec­ond more major was in Geor­gia after a heavy rain which turned to heavy snow.  Dri­ving on snow and ice cov­ered roads is dif­fi­cult enough when the other dri­vers are accus­tomed to it.  Add to the equa­tion south­ern dri­vers who, despite their love of NASCAR … any­who, I was cut off by a douche in an SUV, slid and rear ended a car that had stopped dead in the mid­dle of the road.  That car stopped due to the car in front of them.  Unfor­tu­nately, the bumper that my front end made con­tact with was that of an unmarked cop car. WOO! 

   How much do you smoke?  Not at all

   How much do you drink?  A cou­ple times a month.

   Is your cho­les­terol nor­mal?  Note to self: make an appoint­ment for a well­ness health exam

   Have you ever run a marathon? Heck no.  While a lot of peo­ple who are on a quest toward bet­ter health tend use a marathon for marked improve­ment, I do not. The idea of pound­ing pave­ment has no appeal to me.

   How many x-ray’s have you had (not includ­ing den­tist)?  With the numer­ous sprained ankles, wrists; back injury; foot issues , I can­not even estimate.

   Have you ever had surgery?  No

   Do you watch what you eat? I have been a com­plete slacker with it which is why the sec­ond phase of los­ing 100 pounds has been delayed.  Old addic­tions are hard to shake.

   When was the last time you worked out?  Friday. 

   What is your ideal weight?  160

   Cur­rent? You could do the math if you really wanted to find out. Track my weight loss efforts and what is remain­ing in my goal to lose.  I know what it is. Telling you flat out is not nec­es­sary to keep me account­able to myself

   How old was the old­est liv­ing rel­a­tive in your imme­di­ate fam­ily?  Imme­di­ate makes me think sib­ling or par­ent.  All I know is that I’m still alive.

   Veg­gies or Fruit?  Yes, you need both.

   Low-carb or High-carb?  I’m in between and con­sume com­plex carbs.  Don’t be afraid.

   How do you want to die? I’d rather be con­cerned with how I’m liv­ing, thank you very much.

    

    

   .

   Category All about me, blog fun, frivolity, healthy lifestyle, I'm lazy, random blathering, That's Life, weight loss | Tags: | No Comments

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10. FIRE!! FIRE!!

    November 9, 2010 by Marissa

    Category Beachbody, Bye bye obesity, closeted vixen, healthy lifestyle, random blathering, video blogging | Tags: | 2 Comments

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