GIRL POWER!
Yesterday presented a serious challenge for me as a lab manager. When promoted, I told them, prior to accepting the position, that I was NOT a mechanic. You see, short of complete rebuilds, we do our own maintenance and repairs on the equipment used in the lab. In our employ was a gentleman who could fix just about anything. He retired leaving me with my own resources.
Ugh.
Since he left the company in late December, nothing terribly challenging has presented itself. Light bulb replacement; calibrations; fluid refills. Nothing major. That is until a vital piece of equipment was displaying signs that a complete breakdown was imminent. Without this machine we are rendered useless and a lot of customers would be tremendously upset that we couldn’t deliver the product in a timely manner.
I admit that the part was ordered two weeks ago and that I had been procrastinating. But the noise given off from the machine was deafening.
Wearing my son’s cargo pants and a shirt I cared little about getting greasy, I reported to work two hours early after seeing the dentist (that’s for another post). Having spoken with a technician at our diagnostics office, I felt less than confident in pulling this repair off. However, nothing ventured; nothing gained!
Ugh.
I knew 3 massive bolts had to be loosened. The first one broke loose easily. Hooray! The second one not so much. WD-40 to the rescue. While that was seeping into the crevices and doing whatever the hell it does, I replaced a rubber collar that had a split in it. Of course, out of 16 hex-screws, the last one would NOT budge. Bloody hell!! With a little ingenuity, I made the part fit. Neener neener, stupid hex-screw!
Twenty minutes later I returned to the bolts I doused with WD-40. The second one budged with a little elbow grease. The third one was in a spot that didn’t allow me to create enough torque with the hex wrench and pry bar. Double ewww tee EFF!!! The flipping hex wrench kept flying off and dropping to the floor. Already positioned in a tight spot between the ginormous machine and the wall, I bashed my skull into the corner of our safety unit that holds the Health and Safety Manual and MSDS binders. Ironic, don’t ya think? With a window nearby that gives customers access to seeing and hearing what is going on in the lab, I attempted *cough* to be aware and not shout expletives. I may have failed miserably. At one point I saw stars and thought there would be a trickle of blood on my forehead. Yes, I nailed my noggin that hard. I was too angry to cry.
I kept lamenting loudly, “I AM STARTING TO FEEL DEFEATED!” toward my co-lab tech. While she couldn’t help me physically, she did cheer me on with words of encouragement.
Various positions were attempted to break the bolt free from the housing. This included standing ON TOP of the machine, back on the floor but propping my left foot against the swing arm while, with all my strength, yanked on the makeshift lever. FAIL!
I must not go further without pointing out that I am right handed and my right arm has reduced strength due to tendonitis or some other sort of itis that induces pain and the inability to fully unbend the arm.
Finally, with a hammer in hand and the hex wrench in place, I used the claw and an edge of the bracket to pry it as if it was a nail in the wall. It worked.
I swear to you at that moment a choir of angels sang. Just the removal of the bolts took me about an hour and a half. That’s about how long I had hoped the entire process would take. Remaining was dismantling, replacement and reassembling. THEN, calibrating.
It was all downhill once the 27 pound part was pounded out with a rubber mallet and a lot of grunting, primal yelling etc… It was VERY therapeutic.
By 1:20 PM, the deed was done. My body was drained, but my confidence was soaring. While I do NOT ever want to have to do this again, the action of doing it leaves me feeling extremely empowered. It also puts a feather in my cap as a single woman. I’ve been the home carpenter, mover, spider killer, mouse trapper all while putting on make up, getting pedicures and wearing pink glitter lip gloss.
I DID IT! In fact, an email was sent to my regional manager expressing just that. “I DID IT! I DID IT! I DID IT ALL BY MYSELF!!!”
The beast above is what gave me such trouble. It’s a about a foot long and heavy as hell. Above it is the mallet which allowed me to make that cylinder my bitch.
And now, a musical dedication to my inner Super Woman. I’m standing on my own two feet! They say behind every great man is a great woman. Well, I stand with myself and my sisters who are doin’ for themselves!!
With 
